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Despite six weeks on anti-depressants and a couple of counselling sessions, Tara still was not herself. Although those intense feelings of hopelessness had lifted a bit, there were still too many tears and moments were she felt she was drowning. She hated to admit it, but there were even times when she thought that perhaps she and everyone else would be better off if she was dead. Of course, she knew that it was not just the grief of this loss. Tara’s life seemed to be an endless tsunami of loss with another wave knocking her down the moment she rose from the last. From the moment that her father had abandoned her when she was even younger than Ella, Tara had lost something priceless…trust. While she was old enough and wise enough to know that in real life there were no ‘happily ever afters’ promised by the fairy tales from her childhood, this latest wave seemed to have driven a wedge between she and Brian. For a couple of years, things had been tough. Tara, who used sex as a. Right now! Whatever it takes! I want to wear those clothes in that store for my husband. And I want you to be able to." I shook my head slowly, I didn't fully understand."I want you to go under the knife for me." Knife?" Yes. I want you to get breasts. Maybe do something about that ass or hips or whatever. I need for you to be more attractive."****"It's not such a bad idea is it? I mean for that kind of money, hell I'd do it." Of course he wouldn't. Very few would, even those who enjoyed and spent a lifetime dressing as the opposite sex. But I understood where he was going with this. The more feminine I became in appearance, especially my nude appearance, the more he could ease whatever battle his sexuality was undoubtedly fighting in his head. He and my mother both would have me dramatically altered, who I was to fit into their particular needs. I decided to keep it light. I balled up a paper napkin from his table and threw it at him, "You just want to be able wrap your hands around.
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